Learning How To Say No So You Can Focus On Your Passion
What Lead to My Personal Burnout
I have spent a big portion of my life saying yes to everyone around me. I would say yes to anyone who needed help or wanted my time. Continuing down this path of "yes" has contributed to major burnout. Over the last 3 years I have been focusing my attention on my values and desires. I have been calling this my "no phase". I got this phrase from Leila Hormozi. Her content has really helped me focus on what truly matters. She talks about how being in a no phase changed her life a lot. How it helped her get clear on her goals. Which then helped her make the impact she wanted to have on the world.
Knowledge Seeking
All this burnout has lead me down a rabbit hole of psychology books, podcasts, videos and blogs that focus on minimalism and self growth. Through this accumulation of knowledge I have discovered the word "no". It may sound silly but this word has changed my life. As someone who always wants to lend a helping hand and cares very deeply for others, this word is really hard to say. But through this self discovery I have gained the strength and insight to reframe saying "no" in a positive way. Here are some tips blow on how to say no.
"Saying no to things that don't serve your passion is a form of self-care. It's important to prioritize your own growth and happiness." - Marie Forleo
Tips On How To Say No
Learning how to say "no" is an important skill that can help you focus on your passion and achieve your goals. Here are some tips on how to say "no" effectively:
- Be clear and direct: When you say "no," make sure you are clear and direct. Don't beat around the bush or make excuses. Simply state that you are unable to help or participate. A maybe isn't a no and will lead to more questions and disappointment. Saying no is the best way to free you from this cycle.
"Clarity of vision is the key to achieving your objectives." - Tom Steyer
- Be kind: It's important to be respectful when saying "no." Express gratitude for the opportunity, and explain that you are unable to commit at this time. Being kind is so important to growing connections.
- Prioritize your time: Before saying "yes" to anything, consider whether it aligns with your goals and priorities. If it doesn't, it's okay to say "no." I read the book Essentialism a few years ago and this is one of the main messages in Greg McKeown's book.
“If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no.”
― Greg McKeown
- Practice saying "no": Saying "no" can be uncomfortable, especially if you are used to saying "yes" to everything. Practice saying "no" to close family and friends first. I found it easier to have a few people around me that knew I was learning how to say no. They didn't push back on my "no". This made it easier when it came time to say no to more dominate personalities.
- Practice self-care: It's important to prioritize your own well-being and make time for the things that bring you joy. This can look like experimenting with a new hobby, organizing your house, going on a hike or even going to therapy. By practicing self care you learn more about your values and priorities. This can make a "no" a lot easier if you have other self care things planned.
- Remember your goals: Keep your passions and long-term goals in mind when making decisions about how to spend your time. Saying no to certain opportunities can help you stay focused on what really matters to you. It all comes back to values and priorities. This is your life and you get to decide how you want to spend your time.
Remember, saying "no" is not a bad thing. It allows you to focus on what's important and pursue your passion without getting sidetracked by other commitments. By setting boundaries and prioritizing your passions, you can lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Here are some strategies that may help you push back against negativity and doubt:
Megan Josol
"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." - Oprah Winfrey
"Say no to everything that doesn't align with your passion, purpose, or values." - Doreen Virtue
"When you say no to the wrong things, you make more room in your life for the right things." - Rachel Hollis
"Your passion is the compass that will guide you to your true purpose. Don't let anyone or anything distract you from it." - Tony Robbins
"Learning to say no is a critical element of success. Saying no allows you to focus on what's truly important." - Jack Canfield
"Saying no to distractions is the key to achieving your goals. Focus on your passion and success will follow." - Brian Tracy
"You can't do everything, but you can do anything. Focus on your passion and say no to the rest." - John C. Maxwell
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